Friday, January 23, 2009

Grab Bag Friday: Cold Is Relative

Okay, we can all admit to succumbing to the charms of the occasional forwarded message. My dad (in Wisconsin) just sent me this one, and maybe it's because the weather has been dipping below zero around here and freezing my brain cells, but it struck me as hilarious.

A lot of it, by the way, is not *that* much of an exaggeration--my sisters have totally sunbathed at 60, and my husband has used the outdoor grill in temperatures lower than 35!

(The picture is a van outside my mom's bedroom window in Idaho.)

COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. . . . . .
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.
60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Wisconsin sunbathe.
50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.
40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Wisconsin get out their winter coats.
10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Wisconsin are selling cookies door to door.
20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Wisconsin let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Wisconsinites get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.
40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Wisconsin start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'
50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Wisconsin public schools will open 2 hours late.

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